Overcome by emotion: what to do?
We humans are, of course, emotional beings! Emotional feelings are the normal reaction of our brain and body to the fact that something important has happened (1). Positive emotions, such as happiness or love, are what impel us. Such emotions reinforce the impression that we feel well and that we are in full possession of our faculties and strengths.
How to cope with your emotions when involved in stressful doctors’ consultations.
Negative emotions, however, such as fear, sadness and anger, also impel us – but in another direction entirely! Frequent behavioural reactions to such negative emotions are flight, aggression or shock.
Very strong negative emotions can arise during doctor-patient consultations. In additions, other feelings may arise such as shame and guilt as well as disgust. Such feelings substantially hinder the continuation of a consultation. Sometimes further discussion becomes impossible, or information can no longer be absorbed cognitively.
Emotions are what we make of themTwo guiding principles can be helpful if the doctor’s consultation leads to strong emotional reactions:
If we examine our emotions, we often say: “I am angry” or “I am sad”. However, we are not our emotions, rather we “feel” them: we feel anger, we feel sadness. We are in possession of our feelings, and not the other way around! (2)
The philosopher of antiquity Epictetus said: “It is not things in themselves which trouble us, but our opinions of things.” (3)
We do not decide whether we will be ill or not! However, we decide how we will react to a serious diagnosis: as a stroke of fate or as an initial spark to cause us to fight for our health. As an unavoidable catastrophe or as a development that we need to “tame” and something from which we can learn.
Emotions and conversation
Emotions can definitely enrich communication between individuals.
The words “I am sad” on their own do not mean so much. Only the corresponding tone of voice and visual appearance of a sad facial expression add force to the choice of words. It is also useful during a doctor’s consultation to express one’s feelings authentically. Grave developments that affect one’s own health and news of such trigger strong emotions and are initially overwhelming. Even with the utmost effort we are not always able to permanently suppress strong negative emotions. We may manage to hide these emotions for a time, however, during this time we are barely able to concentrate on the consultation.
But there is a middle ground between trying to suppress all emotions and the knee jerk reaction of letting them flood out in a torrent.
Be conscious of your emotions—but do not let yourself be controlled by them
So as to maintain your self-efficacy during stressful doctors’ consultations, take some time to do some soul-searching and listen to your emotions.
Perceive your emotions as a neutral eye-witness. In your own head give your emotions a name and verbalise this name.
As soon as you are consciously aware of your emotions and briefly reflect on what they signalise, they lose their intensity.
Controlling your breathing also helps – breathe deeply in and out a number of times.
Do not let yourself become agitated
You can learn to manage your emotions. If you are one of the many who feel they are strongly influenced by their emotions, learn from your own experience.
EverAsk allows you to reflect on your behaviour as you follow-up on your conversation. How satisfied were you with your own role during the exchange of information? Use the note field in the learning area of EverAsk to record how you coped with your emotions and what you could improve on next time.
Sources
1 The emotion compass – an aid to better comprehend and cope with your own feelings
2 The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes, William Ury, Bantam Books
3 https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/epictetus_104206
Further topics
- Patient competence
- Active participation in doctor-patient consultations
- Difference between the content of a consultation and the conversational process
- EverAsk or Dr. Google?